What You See Is What You Get

I watched a video about a man who considered himself very logical, materialistic, if you couldn’t touch it, see it, or measure it, weigh it, it simply didn’t exist.  Howard was young, handsome, charismatic, and at the age of 26, he had earned his PhD and was a tenured Art professor living in Paris with his wife. 

He said, “If I met you, I would get you to admire me, to be a fan, to be a fan of my work, and all you would be to me was someone to feed my ego,” and he treated people in just that way.  If you weren’t interacting with him in order to feed his ego, he had no use for you.

While in France, Howard got sick and was told by his doctor that he had an hour to live, because there were no surgeons available to repair the tear in his duodenum which was dumping all kinds of toxins into the rest of his body. So, he died.

Clearly this is a story about a Near Death Experience, and today, I want to share Howard’s story about his time “on the other side”.  

In his life review he was shown all of his interactions with other people over his adult lifetime.  He was shown not only HIS behavior and words, but what happened to the person after their interaction. He watched all the times he was unkind, rude, sarcastic to other people and he could see and feel how they felt as they walked away, hurt, embarrassed, sad, angry, and . . . 

. . . as he continued watching, he felt the spirits’ disappointment grow . . . and he became more and more disappointed in himself which became absolutely unbearable, and he said, please, please stop, I get it, I get it, but they told him no, and continued moving through every interaction he ever had.  

The interesting thing was that they didn’t show him things like getting his PhD or when he got his tenure or any of the other life events that he was so proud of, that he thought gave him value and made him a good human being. No, . . .

They pointed out things like “see here’s where you ignored a student that really, really needed a friend.”

And he watched the student walk away crushed, ultimately giving up his dream to become an artist, and leaving school.

Finally it was over, and he said to the spirits that he really did get it, that we were all here to love each other.  Not insincere love or transactional love, just love.  

What this story did for me was remind me of my interactions with others over my life and I’m sure I can’t remember them all, but I remember plenty that I’m sure I’ll be watching with disappointment in my life review when the time comes.

You see, like Howard, we become so self-absorbed, self-serving, self-important only looking for ways to get our own needs met and don’t get me wrong, we all need to find ways to get our needs met, but NOT at the expense of others.   

When the spirits explained to Howard that he wasn’t staying, that he was going back, he begged them to let him stay, saying he didn’t want to, that there was nothing but ugliness, anger, hatred, greed everywhere down there.

And here’s what really stuck with me and what I want to share with you today. Spirit said, “what’s in your heart is what you’re seeing” and to that, I would add “What you see is what you get.”

So, I ask you, what’s in your heart?  Do you really know?  I don’t think we can hold anger, hate, greed in our heart and see beauty all around.

One way to know for sure is to look at yourself in the mirror, what am I seeing?  The wrinkles, the extra weight, eyes that don’t smile, OR am I seeing a reflection of the Divine in me?  

When you look around at your family, your community and your country and the world am I seeing devastation, war, grief, hatred? Or am I seeing all the many resources the Creator has put on our planet to serve us, electricity, fuel, food (even out of season), contractors who build, demolition crews that tear down the old to make way for the new, people helping each other, rescuing animals, people.  

No  matter what you believe about some of these things, we all use them and they all have their purpose.

And there you have the choice — to focus on the negative or CHOOSE to see the positive, choose to see love or well, not.

So what IS in your heart?  

It’s so easy to look at something like a baby or a puppy or kitten and feel all gushy and warm inside, it’s so easy to love them, but little ones grow up, they develop their own personalities, discover their own wants, they’re no longer interested in making you happy, they’re learning to make themselves happy and frankly, you don’t always factor into that equation!  

And you know most people’s hearts aren’t “always” anything, we fluctuate up and down a bit, but we DO have a predominant point at which our heart operates.  

You can only see what you resonate with . . . what your vibration is attuned to plus or minus.  

Maybe you see hate in the world, wars, greed in big corporations, tragedies, “Oh, But that’s what’s really happening out there!!”  Yeah, it might be, but unless you’re willing to do something about it, to get involved, all you’re doing is staying upset, angry, anxious.  Is that really what you want to spend your time doing?  

Let’s face it, some of us have a lot more time in our past than we do in our future, do you really intend to spend your time feeling indignant, outraged, self-righteous because not everyone watches the same news channel, reads the same blogs, listens to the same podcasts, or maybe they’re not “woke” which it sounds like bad grammar to me, or maybe it just means those who don’t believe the way you do. 

When we can look around, when we can KNOW that everyone is on their perfect path, that they are right where they need to be and they don’t need US to convert them, convince them or lead them . . . then we see nothing and I mean nothing but love all around. If they want to change, great, but it’s not for us to assume that others need to change so I’ll feel better about myself.

Start seeing all the wonderful things that individuals, organizations and big corporations are doing to make their communities and the planet better.

Because there’s a lot of really great things happening out there.  Why not keep your eyes on that?  If it’s true and I think it is, that what we focus on expands, why would you do anything else?

From a therapist’s standpoint, I know why, but this isn’t a therapy session, I just want you to practice this when you feel that tightness in your chest, feel your blood pressure rising.  Recognize it as a thought or a belief that you want to change.

Rewind back to the thing that happened that caused you to have the thought or response, replay it in slow motion, feel into your heart and recognize that’s where you are. When you recall that thought, think an opposing thought. There’s no judgment and more importantly, don’t judge yourself because IT’S JUST YOUR PERCEPTION and perceptions can change.

I’ve heard there are some who can watch the news, acknowledge there are unwanted events going on, and yet, somehow manage to see the good in it. 

They might see wars as a way for disenfranchised people and countries to regain some of their power, a way for some to have jobs!  And both perceptions are right . . . for the person seeing them.

But that sure seems like a lot of work.

For me, it’s easier and actually, I’m MUCH happier just not watching. To be honest, if it involves politics or any elections that might be coming up . . . let’s be honest . . . the “news” channels, podcasts, social media, The Sky is Falling gurus are the LAST place I want to get unbiased information.  LOL!  REMEMBER ITS ALL ABOUT RATINGS AND GROWING THE AUDIENCE.  

If I see people en masse peeling out in the cars, loaded down with stuff like the beverly hillbillies, I’ll turn on my radio and see what the hubbub is.  

Common sense tells us to believe that we experience the world as it objectively is.  “What you see is what you get” “Seeing is believing”

But it’s so much more complex than that.

Because it’s not just our eyesight that influences our beliefs and behaviors.  It’s how we were raised, what we were taught, life experiences.

Now, I’m not going to tell you that you NEED to change your beliefs, but what I would love to share with you today is a way to expand your perception of the world IF you find yourself upset by world events, people’s behavior, or simply your own life experiences by changing your perceptions.

I don’t remember if I’ve told you this before, but there was a young woman in the Unit I was stationed at in England.  She had these rosy apple cheeks, a goof grin all the time and looked like she was just going to burst out in joyful laughter at any moment and looking around at what was going on in the world and more importantly what my unhealthy mental and emotional state was at the time, I used to snicker and say to myself, “She is proof positive that ignorance is bliss.”  

Well, knowing what I know now, I get it.  Her perception of life was nothing like mine which was why she was so blissfully happy and . . . well, I wasn’t!  

No matter what you assume or believe it’s just your perception of an event— completely made up courtesy of your beliefs. 

But the good news is since you made it up in the first place, you can change it, you can change your perceptions at any time. 

Because perception is the lens through which you view your version of reality.   So why not go with a version that’s empowering, frees up your mind so you can be fully present and live in the moment, because I promise you if you’re angry, anxious, or afraid about things going on in the world, you AIN’T LIVING IN THE PRESENT.  And guess where all your power is . . . IN THE PRESENT.

Many of us have things we aren’t comfortable with, are angry about, or otherwise have some negative feelings about right now.  Maybe something that happened in the past you wish you could change, maybe it’s politics, maybe it’s the pandemic, the vaccine or maybe it’s something closer to home.  

So, in a couple of minutes, I’m gonna give you a technique you can use to adjust your lens so that what you focus on and believe actually serve you.

In order to change your perception about an event, you have to change your beliefs about it.  That’s what your “lens” is.

So, think about a conflict you had that didn’t get resolved, maybe there’s something holding you back in some way and every time you even think about it you get triggered all over again like when it first happened! 

And if you get anxious, angry, frustrated about something that happened in the past OR WORSE something you’re afraid might happen in the future! . . .  IT’s controlling YOU . . . everytime . . .  Talk about the tail waggin’ the dog! 

Wouldn’t it be nice to not be controlled by a thought?? 

The trick to changing your perception is to gather more data before you make a judgement about good or bad, right or wrong, up or down, whatever.

For example, have you ever had an argument with someone, gotten really ticked off only to later find out more details that changed the way you saw it?  

What data was missing? Was it money, was it your ability to trust, was it health, was it fear of something happening in the future because it had in the past?

Once you really sit with yourself and uncover your beliefs based on missing data, you can really see “the bigger picture”. 

You can do this now for the experience, or I can email or text it so you can take it with you to practice later.  It’s very effective.  

First, bring to your mind that negative experience that you want to change because it keeps wagging you. 

Close your eyes and see it as if you are in a theater watching someone that, interestingly enough, looks like you on a big IMAX movie screen with no attachment to what was happening.  Just notice how they might have looked if they were unhappy, disgusted, poised to lash out, see how they were walking, standing or sitting, talking, had and head gestures, if there was an anxious look on their face, and notice how they reacted to what was going on.  

Get a sense of what that person’s beliefs about life or themself would HAVE TO BE in order for them to experience what happened as negative and run that scene to the end. 


Still with your eyes closed and sitting there munching popcorn or milk duds, cause I know how it is when you’re watching a movie and . . .  don’t wipe your greasy fingers on the chair . . . 

Just imagine that person looking relaxed, interested, engaged, feeling good about themselves, confident, feeling love in their heart.  If they’re not smiling, at least their face is neutral, like in a curious way.

Now see the same event happening on the screen, but this person is now in a much better state, they have new empowering beliefs, they recognize that God created them to be magnificent, that they were created to be A Center of Universal Light, our OWN center of universal light.  

Run that experience again from beginning to end, this time WITH ALL THESE new beliefs about themself, how differently do you think they’d respond?  

When you’re running feelings of confidence, security, curiosity, abundance, you walk differently, you smile more, your shoulders are back, your eyes are up and you feel like SUPERWOMAN!!! Or SUPERMAN! AND IN THAT MOMENT, your thoughts are better, your behavior is better and you’re more content.

Some call it having God’s favor or blessings, 

Well, I believe God is always flowing blessings to us, that we aren’t always in a state of “receiving it”. Do you understand the difference?  

When you have done YOUR work choosing your thoughts directing them to where you want them to go, THAT brings your heart closer and closer to the higher vibration the higher frequency of love. 

So do your work to control the only thing in this entire Universe that you can control (which is what???)  THOUGHTS  

CHOOSE to think good thoughts, 

CHOOSE to look for the positive intentions behind every your and other people’s behaviors.

CHOOSE to see events with an open heart

Choose love, choose love, so you can begin to experience life differently, YOU can begin adding joy and positivity in the world, remember what Spirit told Howard . . . What you have in your heart is what you see in the world.  Change your heart, change your world.  Change  your thoughts,, change your heart And you’ll begin to see more wonderful things about being alive right now. 

Because What you see will be what you Get. 

Published by Kimberly Kelley

I'm a cord-cutting expert. I guide clients to let go of anything that prevents them from becoming a calm and happy non-smoker, non-drinker, results oriented thinker with confidence, love, and peace. I am also the Spiritual Director at the Spiritual Center I co-founded in 2017. My play time involves dancing, playing pickleball, working out with my personal trainer, riding my bike and spending time with my family and #1 squeeze, my Shih Tzu, Katie Isabella Kelley.

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